Blah Blah Blah

So apparently nothing is gonna go right for me or quite a few other people that I know. I still cannot for the life of me find a job, and now one of my best friends is having to give away her puppy because he still keeps fighting with her other puppy.

Sometimes life really does suck, but there has to be a bright side somewhere right?

Pissed Off Completely!!!

Okay normally when my boyfriend decides to be thoughtful I don't really mind. However when I tell him that 'we' need to go and pick out a card for a wedding that we're attending this weekend I mean he and I not just him go pick out. Um hello I barely get out of the house because I'm always having to take care of my mom!!! So yes I'm quite fucking pissed off because of the fact that while he went out to get windshield wipers for his stupid truck he takes it upon himself to go and get the damn card for the wedding!! Granted I know he's trying to be nice because of the fact that I'm on my period but for fuck's sake I want to get outta the damn  house and plus he should know by now that when I say 'we' it means him and I not 'oh I'm gonna be sweet and get the card because I know she has cramps.' Stupid jackass seriously, now I have no idea where the hell he is I know he's still somewhere around the house just not sure where. And where am I? In my room listening to Avenged Sevenfold because their amazing and I'm writing stories.

Ughh I swear guys can be complete fucking idiots especially when they know their girlfriend gets moody while on her damn period.

What the hell is wrong with me????

Ok, I have a great boyfriend, granted there are times when yes I get bored in the relationship. So why is it that even when I'm not bored I think about a certain person from my past? What's worse though is that I talk with said person and if we don't talk it's weird like a part of me is lost. It doesn't make any sense. I mean it's not like the person from the past and I had a true relationship we had a very complicated mess of things that never worked out right. So why can't I get him off my mind no matter what I do? It's just hard because I know we're better off without each other but neither one of us can let go of the other no matter how hard we try. We're like a toxic infection for one another that we can never get out of our systems. Honestly it could be years down the road and as soon as someone would mention a person with the same name as him I'd instantly think of him and what we went through together. What is wrong with? I have no idea.

Hatred for Monday's

Today has just been a horrible day. I started out so hopeful since I had a job interview over in Yukon so really not that far at all from Mustang. Then I get home after my interview only to find out that my dog Harley's ultrasound appointment was moved to noon, which I was thankful for since it meant that I was able to go with.

Being at the vet's office for his ultrasound though was when everything went down hill. Harley had numerous cancerous tumors in his splen, liver, and possibly even his chest cavaity. So we ended up having him put down in order to avoid making him suffer in pain from the tumors. He was 9 1/2 years old, and it just sucks so terribly because he was fighting to live and there was nothing that we could do except put him down so that he wouldn't have to go through extreme amounts of pain.

Then just a little while ago I found out that one of my really good guy friends/skate boarding buddy died Sunday night in a car accident. He died trapped inside of his burning car. Today has just been a really horrible day for me.

I now really do have an absolute hatred for Mondays.

Irritation

Ok I know parents want to try and spend more time with their children as the kids start to grow up. Well at least my mom keeps trying to spend time with me but she does it in the wrong kinda way. I wanted to join a gym last year for myself, and when I talked to my parents about it my dad was supportive while my mom just said that it was a stupid idea. Well yet again I brought up the topic in April since it was my birthday, and guess what now my mother likes the idea. I mean come on lady your twenty years older than I am you do not have to do the same things that I want to do.

So what happens? My dad prints off coupons to go and try out the gym to see if we even like it. Apparently he missed the part last year when I told him I had already tried the gym and liked it. Well my mom likes the gym too, great huh? Yes now I'm stuck going to a gym with my mother because she decided that she wants to get in shape too, but she doesn't want to do any other exercises besides what we do at the gym which is so fucking stupid!!!

As you can see I'm not thrilled about this arrangement, because yet again since I'm the baby of the family and just graduated college my mom is forcing us to spend some sort of time together. I try and spend time with her quite often but normally she either a) doesn't want to do anything, b) says she has too much house work to do (yeah right she never does anything), c) ruins it by calling my sister or starts a conversation about my sister, d) starts complaining about everything that the people in the family do to piss her off, or e) just brings up topics that piss me off and makes me not want to spend time with her.

Ugh, I hate members of my family so passionately that sometimes it could make me vomit fire. But alas I don't thank god, oo or I could kill them with my death stare that would be amazing too. Wishful thinking with the worst of intentions to take care of those pesky irritations.....though it's never going to happen, damn. :(

Interesting Facts

It's interesting that I can be in a relationship with a great guy and still want more because I'm so freaking hyperactive all the damn time. It's also interesting that my boyfriend doesn't even know that I'm bi-sexual, he knows that I've had some sexual experiences with girls and that's it. He doesn't really ask a lot of questions, but he really also doesn't have much of an imagination so that really sucks too, because I love trying new things and I'm so interested in trying everything at least once so it's hard for me to break him out of his shell. Some of the things I'm interested in he isn't and that sucks, but I'm not gonna change my interests to suit him because hello that's so not who I am. He'll learn to expand his imagination or just deal with my randomness of doing things my own way.

I don't know maybe I'm just strange because of all the desires I have? Nah, I'm just me and that's all I know how to be so hopefully sooner or later he'll get into the groove or just let me do what I want and accept it. Or just pretend that I don't do the things he doesn't like or isn't interested in.

Random

So I figure I need a place where I can say exactly what I think and feel and only certain people will be able to read it. Thankfully most of the people I know don't really care to sit down and try to locate every single site that I am on so that truly works to my advantage. I think sometimes, the people who say they care about me really don't even know me which is entirely true. Oh well I know who I am and that's really all that matters to me.